January 2012
3 tags
December 2011
when I finally have sex
some guy: now I know you're a virgin so you probably don't know much about -
me: no I read fanfiction I got this
me: hmm i wonder what's going on at facebook
everyone: new year new me
me: nevermind
me: you wanna see a picture of me in a coma?
evan peters: haha, good one
me: you wanna see my nudes?
evan peters:
me:
evan peters:
me:
evan peters: what?
me: what?
Flickr. →
3 tags
2012 Bucket List
[ ] Drive from the beginning to the end of a road
[ ] Take my camera everywhere for every available photo op
[ ] Put gum on the gum wall in Seattle
[ ] Have my first kiss
[ ] Play frisbee golf (badly)
[ ] Scream as loud as possible with all the windows down on my car
[ ] Go to as many concerts as possible
[ ] Write more
[ ] Visit colleges
[ ] Write something epic
[ ] Be more spontaneous
...
I pissed off some teen age kid at a table I was...
Me: I'm sorry, I'll be back with the right plate
Him: whatever
*as I turn to walk away*
Him: *talking to his friends* he's probably a homo, he's too distraught.
*i turn back to the table*
Me: you know, you shouldn't talk about the dude who's about to serve your food, right beside him. Also, learn the definition of homo, it's a root word that means, "man" in which yes I am a man, more of one than you will ever dream to be. So if you're intentions were referring to me being a homoSEXUAL as in MAN-sexual, which I am, then use a correct form of it. Now, sit there little boy, while this gay man goes to get your food for you.
*i leave and come back*
Me: here's your AIDs stuffed burrito you ordered.
His friends tipped me $20
4 tags
1 tag
inkedimagination:
the only reason I don’t kill everybody is because there is no wifi in jail
4 tags
Watchtyleroakley:
sle4zy:
There was a little kid on the bus singing Someone Like You very badly, so I recorded it. Have fun looking at my face the whole time, by the way.
What do you mean, a kid on the bus? That was Tumblr.
Meeting my favorite band member
Me: Will you sign this?
Them: Sure
Them: Wait,what is that?
Me: A marriage certificate
Them: But.. I..
Me: TOO LATE, YOU SIGNED IT
2 tags
2 tags
